So you know those weeks? The ones where you just feel like punching someone in the face? Yeah. Its been that kind of week for me. A punch-in-the-face kind of week. Allow me to share my misery with you.
It started with Drama Queen getting roughed up at school by 2 boys in the grade above her. 2 older boys decided to enter the grade 1 area and thought it would be a good idea to hit my daughter and throw her to the ground. Surely this assault on my sweet little angel was spotted and broken up by a teacher, right? Fuck no. Apparently at Julia Kiniski School they say “Fuck supervised recesses!” and let kids, including the kindergartens, just wander around wherever the fuck they want and assaulting any innocent children they want. Had it not been for a sweet young hero in my daughters class having the poise to go get some bigger boys and pull these future residents of a federal penitentiary off of poor Drama Queen, who knows how badly she could have been hurt. Now surely when the little Queen went into the school to inform an adult of the situation the boys were rounded up and shot in the fucking face or whatever the appropriate disciplinary measure is for assault on a sweet little girl. Again, fuck no. She was told if it happens again the boys will go on time out. No effort was made to identify and single out the criminals. No discipline at all. Not only did the school do fuck all, but they didn’t bother to inform either my wife or I about what had happened. Not a phone call or a letter or anything. Apparently when your daughter is assaulted at school its not something a parent needs to know. So we raged and stomped and went to a “meet the teacher” night ready to tear somebody a new asshole. But apparently my daughters teacher was not the adult that was initially told about the incident and was therefore helpless. So we decided to let it go. After all, Drama Queen was uninjured and seemed to be unaffected emotionally as well. Until Friday.
Friday comes around and another little cock faced thug decided he was going to play bully and grabbed my daughter from behind and squeezed her real tight. When he had enough of that he spun her around and began kicking my daughter in the shins and left a bruise on her shin. This time a teacher was present and saw teh whole thing. Sweet justice was to be served! The teacher marched over, grabbed the little gangster and…PUT HIM ON TIME OUT! Are you fucking kidding me?!? A goddamn time out? He kicked my daughter and several other kids and all he gets is a mother-loving time out? And once again, not a single word was mentioned to us and certainly not the the villain’s parents. We had to find out from our daughter once again when she was picked up so there was no time for the Chupacabra or I to do anything about it.
When Drama Queen and the Chupacabra got home you better believe a nasty phone message was left on the school voicemail about the lack of response from the school regarding the bullying epidemic they currently have. When this was relayed to me via text message I instantly called the school as well and unleashed a tirade of my own directed at the principal. I was fired up like PETA at Marineland. I was spitting venom on this message. tearing the school and the administration to pieces, demanding they stand up and address the issue directly with The Chupacabra and I. And at this point I realized I don’t know my phone number so how can they possibly call me back. And my entire fucking message fell apart. I stuttered like teen about to see his first set of boobs an abruptly ended the message. Hopefully they will ignore my message and call the Chupacabra on Monday. If not the school board is getting an angry call from her. And I do not envy the person that answers that call.
Further adding to the steaming pile that was my week, my right index and middle fingers are now almost entirely numb but for pins and needle sensations. So thats fucking super. I’ve already burned my finger tip twice this week at work because I can’t feel anything and made so many typos because i can’t tell if I’ve actually hit the key or not. Also, the NHL locked out the players so there’s probably not going to be any hockey for me to watch this year. Interesting to note, the last time there was an NHL lockout I was also residing in Edmonton. So apparently, the lockout is my fault. Sorry world.
But the cherry on the sundae was on Friday night. We decided to let the kids stay up a bit past their normal bedtime because it was Friday and there was no school for Drama Queen the next day. Big mistake. She loses her marbles like only the Drama Queen can. We’re talking blood curdling, bowel shaking shrieks of terror. All because it was bedtime. When she gets into one of these states it is nearly impossible to deal with her. The best response is to put her in her room and let her cry it out. So we did. And during this “cry it out” period, she started to scream “I’m scared! I’m scared!” 30 minutes later she was peacefully sleeping as though nothing had happened. And then the doorbell rang. At first I assumed it was the sister in law or the mother in law’s gay husband. Nope. It was Officer Caughell of the Edmonton Police Service responding to a call about a screaming child. Thats right. The fucking cops showed up because a concerned neighbour thought we were murdering our child. After a few minutes of conversation she stated that she and her partner needed to set eyes on her. So after viewing my now peaceful daughter fast asleep and inspecting our bedroom and kitchen they decided everything was in order and left us to deal with our shame. Super end to a super week!
Now it hasn’t all been bad news this week. NHL 13 was released. And we got those sweet Kate Middleton topless pictures, right? You take good, you take the bad. You take them both and there you have the facts of life.
Beef Hearts:Bee Farts 